Jason B Herald

• It looks like vista
• It acts like vista
• It smells like vista
• None of my drivers’s worked (of course)

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other in an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”

The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.”

The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”

To which the rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.”

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”

The priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”

The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”

The priest replied, “Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.”

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said, “Beats the crap out of a ham sandwich, doesn’t it?”

Big dreams and little ambition
I left for college with the classic mission
To find a man and make lots of money
When I look back now it seems kind of funny

Thousands of dollars in the hole
And I still haven’t answered “what’s my role”
No higher reason, my low grades fester
And I register for yet another semester

I’m paying the way for soulless teachers
Who pave the way for under achievers
Students who write essays straight from the book
If there is higher thinking they’re too lazy to look

We’re creating a generation of
Illiterates beyond our reaches
And they grow up to be
Non-competitive leaches

They have big dreams and little ambition
They go to college with the classic mission
To find a mate and make lots of money
Someday they’ll look back and it won’t seem so funny

- Cary Rogers
Cary’s Email For Comments

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: “Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?”

The shopkeeper gets down on his knees (so that he’s on her level), and asks: “Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy black wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?”

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, “I don’t fink my pyfon weally gives a kwap.”